I don't hate you. I don't have any right to. But they do. HE DOES. But he doesn't rub it in your face. He doesn't shove you when you're down. In fact he was there when you needed him... which were the only times I've seen you around.
I'm not here to talk about how awful, or how mean you were. I haven't seen that side of you, but I know everything. You've been nice to me, but I know the mistakes you've committed. You are a villain in most eyes, but not mine. To me, you are the creator of my hero.
If my dad had left me at a young age, I would seek his affection. If he rejected me, I'd try harder. If I got tired, I'd resent him. And if I don't forgive him in time, I would start to take it out on myself. It's a downward spiral from there. Good thing I don't have to go through that.
You have an awkward relationship with your children. They barely hear from you, but it doesn't bother anyone. You have all learned to live without each other. But of course, the pain will never be gone. You were his dad. His role model. His hero. He told me how you used to set up the fireworks on New Years eve. And up to this day, I swear, he has a childlike look in his eyes whenever he watches even the simplest fireworks. He looks up and he is genuinely entertained. I don't know what goes on through his mind, but I always wondered if he thought about you.
Before you randomly showed up a couple of days ago, I haven't seen you since I was a kid. I was at a totally different stage of my life back then. And I didn't care about any of this. But now, I just want to ask you a lot of questions. I know you weren't evil, but you weren't great either. And my dad had to learn to grow into a man on his own. And he did. He's an even bigger man than you are.
Like I said, I don't hate you. Why would I? If nothing else, I should be thankful that you committed all the mistakes you did, so my dad doesn't have to. I bet when you left, he swore to himself that he would turn out to be a good father. And look at him now, living up to his promise... even exceeding it.
He was beside me each night that I was in the hospital. Whenever I couldn't sleep, he was patient with me. Whenever I did something that angered him, he would try to understand. He never lifted a finger against me. And whenever he would say something hurtful, pride never gets in the way of his love for us. He would apologize.
He writes cards and letters for us. He never failed to comfort me. He always gave me time, and the best advice. He makes me laugh. He is good to me, my siblings, and my mother. He makes it a point that I see how much he believes in me. And I know for a fact that no matter what I do, he is there to support me. He is the best, and I can't ask for anything more.
HE IS MY HERO. And he wouldn't be that way, if it weren't for you. So sarcasm aside, I want to thank you. Thank you for giving me one of the best fathers ever. I don't know how I can ever repay you.
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